Do you often get angry and then you realize after it was not worth it? Here are 5 simple strategies to manage anger and face life with serenity.
Anger is one of the emotions we are probably most used to. In fact, we are often subject to anger, due to stress, fatigue or simply to our nature. Beyond the reasons that trigger it, however, there are ways to manage it, especially if more than real attacks of anger, it is a habit of getting excited about the wrong reasons.
You can change your attitude, and in many cases, you must. It will be enough to think that there are those who have even created schools to teach how to manage negative emotions, such as Mike Fisher, founder of the British Association of Anger Management, who gives some important advice to help us to manage anger.
How to manage anger
Not everyone is able to control it. How many times does it happen to respond badly to co-workers, to yell at your partner or to close the phone in the face of parents when something makes us nervous? For some it is more or less turbulent temper, for others, it all depends on the degree of stress of the day. The fact is that nobody is immune to this emotion. Yet there is a way to control anger. Indeed there is more than one.
Learn to recognize the symptoms of anger
In order to start managing anger, one must learn to recognize its symptoms. Just beware of some mood swings and physical reactions such as shallow breathing, tremor of voice, knees or hands and increased heart rate. When you feel one of these sensations, it is good that you start to put yourself on alert. You should develop the awareness that allows you to understand immediately that you are about to be overwhelmed with anger. Stand apart from what causes you anger.
When you understand that something is about to unleash your anger, close your eyes and think of an escape route. Not so much physical, as mental. Try to visualize a place or a dimension that conveys peace and serenity. Anything is fine if it works for you: the deserted beach of the last vacation you took, the sound of the sea, the shower at the end of a day. All as long as you detach yourself from the object of tension.
Before exploding into a scene worthy of “The War of the Roses” remember that you always have an alternative. You can always try to get away from the stress situation, both physically and psychologically.
For instance, if you find yourself on the train with this fellow who does nothing but yelling while speaking at his cell phone to his wife who’s trying to purchase auto insurance online, put on your headphones and listen to good music, or think of a topic you’ re about to invest in yourself like how should you apply for online college classes or, simply get up and find another place to sit.
Keep a daily journal
It may seem crazy, but writing has a sort of cathartic effect. Keep a daily diary of the events and situations that make you nervous and quick-tempered. Not only will it help you better understand the problem, but by calmly re-reading what you have thrown down, you will realize what the circumstances are in which you exaggerate and on which you can pass over.
Breathe and take time
To learn how to control anger there is a scheme that you can practice, consisting of four steps:
- breathe, inhaling for at least seven seconds and exhaling in 11 seconds, to prevent hyperventilation;
- listen, making an effort to analyze the situation around you and what other people are feeling;
- contextualize, trying to see the whole picture and wondering if you are not magnifying the question;
- wait, avoiding to react immediately and asking yourself if within twenty minutes you would take it so seriously.
“Yesterday, all day long, until late at night, I had an ugly meeting. With anger. Yes. I recognized it by the way I pressed the laptop keys, for the cup I put on the table and for the door I closed behind me. Today I woke up slightly, easily, without making any noise, for fear of waking her up… The anger. I think she’s still asleep, or who knows, someone else or something else took her place. For now, I feel like sitting at the kitchen window and looking at the flowering trees. And you? What emotions have you been visited by lately?” Sincerely! Me