Why do lovers give themselves silly nicknames?

Teddy Bear, Kitten, Puppy… We’re all assigning nicknames to our partner. Love is not beautiful if it is not imaginative.

Let’s think about it for a moment: when we are in love we literally become a little “foolish and stupid” and often we don’ t call things by its real name. We cripple every name even if we were not children anymore, but in the end, this is also the beauty of love.

Some people feel nauseous, but who has never given their partner a slightly stupid name? In general, however, the use of nicknames for our loved ones shows that most of us feel the need to express our affection with words, even when body language, a loving look, or a hug express the same meaning.

How do they use nicknames in different countries?

In the UK, words are used to indicate animals or food, a trend that seems to be quite common in the rest of the world as well.

In France, they say “mon petit chou” which means “my little cabbage”.

In the Netherlands, people call their girlfriends “dropje”, which means “candy”.

In Spain, they say “media naranja”, which means half-orange: the sense is that when they are together they make a whole orange.

In Thailand, the loved one is called “chang noi”, or “baby elephant”.

In Germany, it is called “Spatz”, or “sparrow”.

In Italy, they call themselves: “trottolino amoroso”.

In Poland, they say “myszka”, which means “mouse”.

Why the use of nicknames?

According to Professor Dean Falk, neuro anthropologist at Florida State University, there are two main reasons that, as with most things, refer to our parents and to our innate need to play. The endorsements with which you often turn to your loved one recall those that parents, especially mothers, use with their children.

“It exists for the acquisition of language in children, it expresses love and facilitates the bond between mother and child”. Studies have shown that children love to talk to children and are used to calling them in loving terms, especially learned from their mother. People use nicknames in relationships for their partners because they are returning to their childhood in some way. As well as to the feelings for their first love, the mother.

On the other hand, Professor Frank Nuessel of the University of Louisville, claims that this happens because of the need to be more comfortable with the partner: “This allows both people some freedom from the normal constraints of adult roles”. Another reason why we call ourselves “puppy”, “darling” and “sugary” is there. In doing so, in fact, we fill our need to play even as adults. “These social connections are fundamental for well-being. So using baby talk with each other is a way to facilitate these innate play and care systems. ”

This form of tenderness activates dopamine in children, the neurotransmitter responsible for the feeling of well-being that you feel when you receive pampering and attention, feeling loved and protected. And that returns to manifest itself in the same way in adulthood when you are in love and corresponded.

Creepy names, true, but in a relationship they become practice. Almost always. In conclusion, do not worry about having a mushy nickname for your partner. Just don’t go too intense in public, of course :))

Emotional Bases

As Jean Berko Gleason, a famous psycholinguist of the University of Boston, also states that the emotional bases you feel towards your partner are therefore the same as those experienced by your children towards your parents, and therefore the affectionate language that comes out spontaneously is the result of childhood memories and love received from loved ones.

Growing up, it continues to evoke intimacy and affection, mirroring the feeling and emotional impact towards your loved one, as well as a good emotional understanding as a couple.

Nicknames are fueling closeness and complicity with our partner

The harmony we perceive with our partner just by looking at him is equivalent to the emotional closeness conveyed by the nickname. This phenomenon is also proven by some research: it has in fact been found that the use of nicknames corresponds to a higher level of satisfaction in the couple. Conversely, those couples who do not use endorsements are on average more unhappy.

However, the use of nicknames seems to decrease with the passage of time and with the maturing of the couple: studies have shown that couples married for less than five years and without children are more inclined to use them, while, conversely, couples more tried and tested they seem to use them much less.

It is important, however, to emphasize that although nicknames are generally a sign of love, if our partner calls us repeatedly in a way we don’t appreciate, it could be a sign that he doesn’t respect us.

Sometimes nicknames are also used to impose power on another

For example, calling a waitress “dear” or “darling” can be a way of emphasizing her “subordinated position”. Just like calling women in the office “girls” instead of “colleagues”.

There is an astonishing power deep-rooted in naming things! But when this power is exercised by those who choose to use it to their exclusive advantage, nicknames can do great damage.

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